And now, a reading from Katy Perry's new single, "Teenage Dream." (Her father must be so proud.)
Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
[You know, KP is so right here. Love covers over a multitude of sins!]
We can dance until we die
[Check out the new hit reality show: "Dance 2 the Death"]
You and I, we'll be young forever
[Benjamin Button and friends]
You make me feel like I'm living a
Teenage Dream, the way you turn me on
[She must be dreaming, because teenagers don't turn each other on in real life.]
I can't sleep-Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
[Sounds like a great idea. An insomniac sex-addict running around without looking behind her: rapists take note.]
My heart stops
When you look at me
[Let's hope prince charming is CPR certified.]
Just one touch,
Now baby I believe
This is real
[Here, KP touches on the tension between dreams and reality, AKA "Inception for Dummies."]
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
[Glad to know KP isn't worried about being followed.]
We are so blessed in this day and age to have artists, who, through no talent of their own and by painstaking exploitation of under-acknowledged songwriters, grace us with profound wisdom, disguised as imbecilic lyrics. More to follow...hopefully. I'm sure I won't be lacking in raw materials.
XOXO,
the world's 5 billionth critic
